Journal – September
Depression
September 1, 2019
Depression is real and a lot of people live with it on a yearly, monthly, daily basis, more than you probably know. They could be your neighbor, best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, co-worker, parents, anyone. The one thing that people with depression are scared of is saying ‘I have depression.’… …so here we go, ‘I suffer from depression and anxiety and it runs in my family and I’m the first to admit it.’My Son and I
This past year my oldest son has been going through a lot and a lot of you know that being a
teenager is not easy, it’s a struggle to figure out how you fit into this world. We have become a lot closer in the last 6 months because he has opened up to me about his struggles with depression. His depression was triggered by a heartbreak and has had a snowball effect from there and it made me realize, ‘you’re just like me.’
This past week, he came into my room, in the same manner that most of our conversations about his depression start, very impromtu and starts with “I’m Depressed.” This night was different. He starts with, ‘You don’t understand mom, I need certain things to be in my life the way I want them and if I don’t I’m not going to be happy.” When he said that I knew it was time I open up to him and let him know that we are more alike than he thinks. When he said that I say, ‘oh my love I get you more than you think. Son, I get it, I have depression as well and it gets triggered over the same thing as you, being alone.’
Being Alone
This last year has been about being ok with me. I’ve accepted the fact that I have anxiety about being alone, like truely embracing being alone. Yes, if you know me, I’ve gone to Bali by myself for 2 weeks, but guess what? Most of the time I was there, I didn’t think I was good enough because I was sharing this beauty by myself and not with my person. However, during that trip I knew that I was on the right path to heal my depression and anxiety of being alone. It’s gives me anxiety to think of being alone. I’ve been this way all my life, hence why I have the track record that I do when it comes to how I choose and handle relationships. I would turn into a chameleon with anyone that I was in a relation with (friends, family, romantic). I never had an identity – it was just my name, and then I’d be whoever you wanted me to be, just so that I wouldn’t be alone. Through the recent years I was finding out that this was not healthy, and I didn’t love myself. As soon as I was alone, here would depression come with his powerful presence and start telling me the untrue stories of how I am…- not good enough
- pretty enough
- stupid
- don’t have an opinion, so just be quiet
- never going to be skinny – so just eat whatever you want
Path of Healing
My practice of yoga has opened the doors to mindfulness, mindfulness with mediation. Mediation has been the key to my healing, it brings me face to face with my mind and the untrue stories. This space gives what I need to erase those untrue stories and replace them with my true stories like…- You do have a gift you can share with the world
- You are smart and beautiful
- You do not need to be scared of being alone
- You do love yourself just the way you are
10 Ways to Self-Love
September 15, 2019
Self-Love is a priority that we need to give to ourselves, sadly enough with the busy lifestyles we lead, we think of ourselves last. In order for us to give ourselves in the form of love, time and/or attention to our family, friends and co-workers we need to fill our own cup of love first – how can we give from an empty cup?
Over the upcoming weeks, I’ll highlight 10 ways that I use to fill my love cup, in hopes that each week you can implement these ways into your life and watch your love cup slowly fill by your own doing.
Time Management
Who enjoys being dictated during your day by time? We always say “if there was only more hours in a day…” Instead of saying that, manage your time instead of time managing you.Routine
Giving yourself a routine puts your body in harmony with nature and as you become one with nature your body, mind and consciousness will start transforming at a higher level of functioning.Date Days/Nights
Taking yourself out on solo date days or nights gives you time by yourself. Time by yourself is a great way to get to know you without the thoughts from other people, society and social media. Time by yourself will give you great insight into your TRUE self.Meditate
The gift of meditation is important for your body and mind to marry together. During your practice you give your mind the opportunity to quiet and hear the voice from YOUR source (God, Universe, Divine, etc). If your choosing of meditation is guided meditation, I provide guided meditations here.Asana Yoga
Yoga literally means “union,” union of our body, mind and spirit. When we practice the form of asana yoga, we create space for our stories, the true and untrue stories, and practice rooting in our integrity of our lives.Clean Space = Clean Mind
Creating a clean space will naturally give us a clean mind. Take the time (through time management) to clean and declutter your space so your mind can be clear of clutter.Eating Healthy
We are what we eat. By eating healthy we are providing love to our bodies. One easy way to eat healthy is to balance out eating out vs eating in and cooking for ourselves.Journaling
Journaling is a great time to be with ourselves and it naturally creates a safe space to download our true feelings and unleash the layers that are no longer serving us.Read Books
Knowledge is Power. If your type of book is fiction or non-fiction, reading expands your vocabulary and increases the number of brain nodes. Make this part of your routine and give yourself the power of knowledge.Self Love Sunday
Pick one day of the week that is dedicated to you, take yourself out on your date day/nights during this time, practice yoga and meditation, read, journal. This is your day – so do you 🙂Self-Love: Time Management
September 22, 2019
Welcome to Part 1 of the Self-Love Series – Time Management. How we spend our time says a lot about what our goals and aspirations are. If we’re spending our time stressing out because there’s not enough time in the day then we are not setting healthy boundaries for ourselves and the people around us. This scenario is a perfect example of cause and effect (karma yoga), if we manage our time effectively, we are spending our time doing things we enjoy and with people that are a priority to us and thus we are filled with love.
Prioritizing
Prioritizing our time starts with knowing your true nature so you know what deserves your attention. Why spend time on things that don’t fill your heart? Life is all about transforming, nothing will be black and white in the moment. Your priority list will continue to evolve as you transform into your true nature. There are areas in my life that the lack of time management is starting to exposed itself. My lack of time management has always been there and I’ve been slowly trying to change but i guess not fast enough because God has a way of enforcing things in very mystical ways. So here I am in my current situation which I feel has happened overnight — New Job, Teaching Yoga, Exploring Opportunities to expand my yoga business, Mom, Yoga Student (300 YTT), Home Owner. Now I’m in the thick of transforming my time management.Discipline
When we are transforming or enhancing our lives for the betterment of ourselves there’s a level of discipline that is involved. Discipline that requires inner strength to face whatever it is that is inhibiting us from using our time effectively. This is why I believe that time management is an element of Self-Love. Too often we find ourselves spending time doing what we don’t want to do; a deadend job or doing favors for others because we didn’t say no when we said yes. And my favorite, procrastination, doing things at the last minute is not honoring ourselves or the other people involved because often times the cause and effect of procrastination leads to stress and resentment. I’ve started down the discipline journey when it comes to managing my time because essentially I was spending too much time with my little demons and letting them tell me false stories of myself and not truly living in alignment with my true self. Over the last month I’ve reflected and moved around some priorities to ensure my energy is conserved and thus i’m managing my time effectively according to what’s a priority in my life.Self-Love: Routine
September 29, 2019
Welcome to Part 2 of the Self-Love Series – Routines. According to ayurveda, sister science to yoga, Dinacharya is translated to a routine. Dinacharya aligns with the energy of the natural rising of the moon and sun which then affects our bodies overall digestion, mental activity and creativity.
The daily routines that are suggested can be categorized by the three doshas (energies believed to circulate in the body), vata, pitta and kapha. Each of doshas peak during certain times of the day and if we align our routines based on the doshas we capitalize on the energy from the moon or sun, depending on the time of day. The dosha times are:
- Kapha: 6-10am, 6-10pm
- Pitta: 10am-2pm, 10pm-2am
- Vata: 2-6pm, 2-6am